Confession of a Woman with Makeup

I started wearing makeup when I was around 11 or 12 years old. I honestly can’t remember exactly when the thick black liquid called mascara first touched my eyelashes and then refused to leave them for the next 20 years. I thought if you didn’t put on makeup when you went “out,” it was a disgrace. That’s what my mom told me. I don’t remember a day when my mom didn’t have a makeup, she would get up early in the morning to put on makeup and curl her hair. Every single day. Especially when you go out.

By “going out,” I mean any exit from the apartment — even to a clinic when your eyes are tearing up and you feel awful. But what will people think? How will they react?Even if you’re going to a remote cabin where, aside from the forest and distant neighbours no one will see you, you still have to leave the apartment, right? Walk through the entrance hall, get to the car, and upon returning, get out of the car, cross the yard, and walk back through the entrance hall to your apartment. Taking out the trash, of course, also requires makeup, because otherwise, you won’t pass the ‘face control’ at the dumpster.

—Oh, you look so pretty here, it’s a really good picture, - my friend said as she was browsing through photos from a recent gathering. —What do you mean, ‘pretty’? I’m not even wearing makeup here!- I replied furiously thinking my friend was mocking at me.

It is only lately that I’ve realised where this craze to always have a makeup comes from. 😌And it is lately that I’ve started to allow myself to “go out” with no makeup. Though I admit it still feels weird for me. I also realise that it’s a long and winding road towards accepting your appearance as it is. But one step at a time.